Recollection
by ubyrai
Summary: Any normal person would focus on the future, and not dwell on the happenings of past. But Edward wasn't a normal person in the slightest.  Please R&R.


**Firstly, thank you heaps to those that read and reviewed 'Not safe to walk alone.' It really picks me up when i realize how many people enjoy my writing.**

**Also I've had something like a mini writers block lately...but hopefully i'm out of that now and should be writing more stuff soon.  
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**This is set before promised day i think.**

**Except it has a bit of FMA and FMA:B together. Please over look that. :S**

**Warning...well if you haven't read or watched much of FMA then i dont advise you to read... it has some spoilers up to episode 20 in brotherhood...yep. **

**I don't own anything.**

**Enjoy.**

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"Ed, Al? What are you doing up this early?" Trisha asked the brothers.

"Al said he needed to pee." Ed yawned, holding his little brothers hand and rubbing his eyes.

"I see, you were looking after Al were you?" She smiled, crouching down to their height and ruffling Ed's hair lovingly.

He giggled, suddenly feeling good about getting up to help Al. But his content turned into confusion as he saw the suitcase in the hand of his father. The man looked down at his children once more before opening the door and stepping out into the crisp morning. The light blinded the kids as they were used to the darkness of the night, but the door was quickly pulled closed. Ed wondered where his father was going, and when he would be back to teach him some more alchemy that the boy loved so much.

_0X0X0_

He grabbed the sweaty palm if his weak mother. He did not want her to go. She couldn't just leave them. What would they do? Ed wiped the tears from his face. Their mother was so strong not long ago. But now she was sickeningly weak. No one had bothered to pick up the tomatoes that the woman had dropped, what felt like weeks ago.

She was going to die, Ed admitted to himself. 'No she can't, we need her!' he thought, wishing it were true.

"Look after Al for me Edward." She told the small boy who was still clutching her hand for dear life. Ed had only nodded. She smiled at her son before her eyes closed shut as she let the muggy air fill her lungs for the very last time.

_0X0X0_

His eyes were wide in fear as he took in the sight before him. The spindly, blood covered fingers reached out to him. Asking him wordlessly for help. It's bright crimson eyes penetrating the fog surrounding itself. It's breath coming out in harsh loud pants.

This thing was _not_ their mother. He has lost his brother and his own leg to create this monster.

"AL!" he screamed. This wasn't supposed to happen. The theory was all right, he knew it was. His mother should have been in the spot the monster was, smiling her smile like they wanted and wished to see again. Edward finally realized why human transmutation was a taboo.

There was a metallic crash as his father's armour fell to the ground, helmet rolling away.

They would not take his brother away as well as his mother. Al was the only one he had left.

Dragging his own body along the especially cold floor he somehow knew what to do. The boy drew the seal onto the back plate of the metal shell.

"YOU CAN TAKE AS MUCH AS YOU WANT! MY ARM, MY OTHER LEG! JUST GIVE ME BACK MY BROTHER!" he had cried as he transferred Al's soul into the empty suit of armour. He would have his brother back, even if he had to temporary use the armour for his brother's soul.

Ed screamed as he felt his right arm being ripped away from his body.

Everything had gone wrong that night.

_0X0X0_

The bright orange flames licked their way up the small two story house, devouring everything in its path. The hazy glow of the fire could be seen from all the way down at the train station that night, smoke billowing up into the dark cloudless sky.

The flames crackled and ate away at the already brittle wood of the old house that sat upon the green hill in Resembool. Ed watched as the strong tree next to the burning house caught alight, the fire burning away at the strong ropes of the homemade swing in the backyard.

There was a soft sob from beside him.

"Why are you crying?" he asked the young girl standing next to him, she was holding her grandma's hand and looking into the orange light that was her best friend's house.

She shouldn't be crying, if anything he should be the one crying. She hadn't lost her leg bringing back her dead mother. She hadn't then lost her arm trying to bring back her brother. She hadn't seen the sickly, bloody thing that crawled on the floor that night, reaching out for its son. She hadn't gone through the horrors of automail surgery. She hadn't condemned her brother to a mere soul in a suit of armour. She hadn't burnt down her own house.

So why was she crying?

_0X0X0_

He rested his gloved hands on the blood soaked wall, letting the tears fall from his gold eyes. He wished he could have done something. But it was too late, and what was done could not be reversed.

The little brown haired girl was dead, in the same way as her mother, half human half animal. A chimera they called it. But now all that was left was the blood and gore on the alley wall, soon to be washed away by the rain that was falling so heavily from the sky, drenching the young alchemist down to the skin. Why was it always the innocent that seemed to go first?

_0X0X0_

The boy stood in front of the cement gravestone in a section of the vast cemetery. He remembered the pain of telling the widow that it was his fault that her husband was murdered on that regrettable night. He had been a father to the brothers. More of a father that Hoenhiem could ever be. But now he was gone as well.

The wind flicked Ed's hair around his face. There was already two bunches of flowers left at the grave from that day, never the less he bent down and placed his bouquet of roses next to the others.

"Please don't cry Mumma." The girl had pleaded to her mother. The words were not meant for him, but he had accidentally overheard. And they had been haunting him ever since. He deserved the pain. It _was_ his fault to start with.

_0X0X0_

Ed wiped his mouth once again, cleaning the excess vomit from his mouth. He grabbed the shovel, ignoring the drops of rainwater running down his face. He would not give in to the pain. He needed to know the truth, for his sake, and his brother's.

He collapsed to the ground as he felt the shovel head hit something hard. Digging away at the remainder of dirt he pulled up a lock of wet hair.

Shaking with pain and cold he asked the question, already dreading the answer.

"Mum's hair was brown wasn't it?"

The old lady only nodded.

"This is black." He said just loud enough for Pinako to hear over the torrent of rain.

Al had been put into the armour for nothing. He lost his arm and leg for nothing. They had become nothing over transmuting something that didn't even have the same gender as their mother. They had lost everything for nothing. That's not an Equivalent Exchange, but that's life, as much as Ed wished otherwise.

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So she stood there, grasping my arm, asking me why I cut myself like I do. But she already knew the answer. It wasn't hard to figure out. In fact it could probably be read in my eyes, the pain and suffering finally seeping through.

**Uh-huh...sooooo.**

**Wasn't really in a good mood when writing this. (As usual)**

**Please Review.**

**P.s I'm working on another story (if you could call it that) at the moment. Not for FMA though, for Soul Eater...because its awesome. Just letting you know in advance.**

**(Press the little button below...come on you know you want to.)  
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